Robin Eastman, Founder of Versatackle

About a year ago, I had a tough conversation with my manager. I hadn’t been happy about some changes to my role, and it was showing up in my work. I realized I had a choice to make: stay there and really commit to my job as it was or let go and do something new. Being half-in/half-out wasn’t working. I agonized over the decision. There’s more than a little truth to the phrase “Amazon is where overachievers go to feel bad about themselves.” I had gotten so much out of my time at the company, grown so much, accomplished things I was truly proud of. Did I really want to leave on a sour note?

One of the odd things about working in HR is that anytime I was struggling personally with some issue at work, someone would walk into my office and want to talk about what they were struggling with and it would turn out to be the same thing. I would listen and nod sagely while they laid out their problem. I would ask them questions about what they had tried and what outcome they wanted. I would give them advice and talk to them about next steps. And after they left, I would think, “Dammit. I guess if I’m going to give them that advice, I have to take it.” People don’t like taking advice. Here’s why: if you need advice, usually your next steps are hard and scary and messy.

I decided that my lack of engagement in my role meant that it was time for me to move on. It simply wasn’t where I wanted to be anymore. I had learned what I needed to learn and staying there to prove something wasn’t actually a good reason. But what was next? I loved being an HR Business Partner. It’s a tough job. You wear so many hats, get to take a true leadership role, and get to make a difference on an individual and structural level. Did I want to continue that at a different company? Or was it time for a bigger change?

I want to take a moment to talk about why I’m telling the story this way. It’s vulnerable and uncomfortable for me. I worry that shining a light on the rough parts might cost me investors and customers. I could, without ever lying, just tell the good parts of this story. The parts that make me and my company sound like a great investment. But there are big reasons I’m doing it this way. One is that integrity is a core value for myself and my company, true integrity, not lip service. Another is that I’m sure there are other founders or people considering being a founder that are wondering “if my corporate job isn’t going so hot right now, do I really think I’ll do better if I try something harder?” I want those folks to know they are not alone. And finally, being open about what I was struggling with is how I found my business partner and my problem to solve.

On a cross-country trip to visit friends, I talked about what I was struggling with at work and the choices I was debating. I asked my friend, Julian, “Hey that thing you’ve been working on nights and weekends, do you maybe want a partner?” Their enthusiastic “Yes!” was both exciting and scary. I could really do this. On the plane back to Seattle, I got a text from another friend I’d been open with. He talked about a problem that needed to be solved and that he thought I could help solve it. It was ambitious – do it right and take a chunk out of climate change, but not too ambitious – yes, I did think we had the skills and knowledge base to do it.

When I got back, I had a very honest conversation with my boss. I shared that I was ready to move on and we talked about the best ways to handle the transition. I felt lighter. In the time since, I have found that I am more engaged, more productive, and back on a learning curve that sometimes feels vertical.

Here’s what I learned from the experience:

1. You have to be willing to ruthlessly prioritize. In life, and in a startup, you will never be able to do everything perfectly. Choose what’s most important to you and go after it. That will mean letting go of some things you thought were vital to you. Don’t chase someone else’s dreams, even if that person is a past version of yourself.
2. Get yourself into an environment that makes it easy to be in a growth mindset. If you are in a place where blame is heavy and mistakes are seen as something other than a learning opportunity, start building your plan to get out. You will never become your best self if you have to pretend you already are there.
3. Build a team that values your strengths and supports your needs. Nothing is inherently easy or hard. Things are easy or hard for you, right now. Who makes hard things easier for you? Who helps you tear down barriers? Especially for gender and racial minority founders: your strengths have been systemically undervalued your whole life. A team that values you will help you undo the damage that comes with that. For founders who are in the majority: what have you been taught to undervalue? Make sure you don’t ignore that when you build your team.
4. Be brave. I believe bravery is about choosing the right path, independent of how scary that is, recognizing the fear that comes along with that, and doing what you need to do to move forward anyways. What does your still, small, inner voice tell you? Follow it. Your team should have your back.
5. Be vulnerable. That is the most effective way to find what you need.
6. Change the world. The world is broken, y’all. If you didn’t know that before COVID-19 hit, you know that now. As a founder, you are saying that you believe something needs to change. There is a problem that needs to be solved. You are declaring yourself the person to solve it. Own that. Think about how to build it into the values of your company. Look for lots of advice, but only take the advice that fits with your vision of the world you want to build.
7. “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.” – G.K. Chesterton. The data say that you will most likely fail if you found a startup. Fortunately, there is a lot to be gained through failure. You can choose to do something easier than start a company. If you start one anyways, get comfortable with the idea that you will have to do a lot of things badly before you can learn enough to start doing them well.
8. Look for the advice that helps you not make the mistakes you are naturally inclined to make. If you are the kind of person who jumps off a cliff whenever you get the chance, you don’t need me to say “Do it!” The people who need that advice are the people who are going to stay in a situation that is harming them because change is hard. What advice is hard, but necessary? What advice do you think you need to walk away from?
9. Don’t build a company by and for only white men. Seriously. Don’t try to fix your diversity problem a couple years from now. You won’t be able to and you will have only yourself to blame for not starting from the beginning. Don’t blame the pipeline. Don’t blame schools. This is something you own. Start thinking about it day one.

Now that I’ve written out all that advice, I guess that means I’m committed to taking it. Since my partner and I have both left our jobs to focus fully on our company, I believe we’ve made a good start. I still have no idea if we will be successful, but I believe we will be. We will find out.

Learn more about Versatackle, a platform for online conferences that prioritises human connection.

Learn more about Robin Eastman